When Help Hides in Plain Sight
Abuse doesn’t always show up as bruises. In living rooms across Lincoln County, it can look like a controlled bank account, a monitored phone, or a partner who answers every question for their spouse.
Nancy Baacke has heard the stories. As an advocate at Haven Inc. in Merrill, she works with survivors who’ve lived through every kind of interpersonal violence — and this month, her organization is shining a spotlight on one of the community’s most hidden problems: elder abuse.
“We have a saying in this field of work — it’s called start by believing,” Baacke told WJFW recently.
More Than Physical Violence
The assumption that abuse victims should “just leave” misses the reality of how control works. Financial dependence, isolation, and fear create invisible chains that can be harder to break than physical ones.
Baacke points to modern technology as a common tool of control.
“With phones nowadays, many people stalk through the devices,” she said. “They may not have to be physically battered. The person is micromanaging many parts of their life and exerting control.”
For older adults in the Northwoods, that control can take specific forms: a family member who gradually takes over finances, a caregiver who limits outside contact, or a partner who controls transportation in a region where getting anywhere means a car.
“Domestic abuse is often hidden in the community or the society. Abusers do not want people to see what they are doing in the home environment.”
In rural communities like ours, where neighbors know each other and families have deep roots, that secrecy can be even more effective. Nobody wants to believe the friendly face at church or the helpful son-in-law could be exploiting someone.
Haven’s Work Across the Northwoods
Haven Inc. has been serving survivors in the Merrill area since the early 1980s. What started as a domestic violence shelter has grown into a comprehensive resource for anyone experiencing interpersonal abuse.
The numbers from 2024 tell the story of need: Haven helped around 180 people, including 133 adults and 47 children. They provided over 3,000 nights of shelter for people who needed a safe place to stay.
The organization offers more than just a bed, though. Their services include:
- 24-hour confidential crisis line (715-536-1300)
- Safety planning and advocacy
- Peer counseling and support groups
- Information and referrals to other resources
- Community education and prevention programs
Baacke says the first step is always the same: listening.
“Then we try to help them regain their power, by being able to make decisions about what they want for themselves,” she explained. “Things about where they see themselves in the future, ways to stay safe and take back their lives.”
Financial Abuse Hits Older Adults Hardest
Among elder abuse cases, financial exploitation stands out as the most common form. It’s also one of the hardest to spot from the outside.
An older adult might suddenly seem vague about their finances. They might hesitate when asked about who’s helping them with bills. You might notice fear in their eyes when a certain family member’s name comes up.
In the Northwoods economy, where many older residents rely on fixed incomes and retirement savings, financial abuse can wipe out a lifetime of careful planning. A manipulated signature, a coerced power of attorney, or simply stolen checks can leave someone vulnerable with nowhere to turn.
Winter geography makes it worse. When snow limits mobility and the nearest bank is twenty miles away, an older adult who depends on someone else for transportation becomes even more isolated.
Baacke urges everyone to check in with older neighbors and relatives — not just during the holidays, but regularly.
“Sometimes you might try and talk to them about something, ya know, ‘How is it going? How is that person taking care of you?’ And if they are very vague and don’t want to share information, or do you sense any fear in that person,” she said.
What the Northwoods Can Do
Elder abuse thrives in silence. Breaking that silence means recognizing the warning signs and knowing where to turn.
Red flags can include sudden changes in financial situations, unexplained withdrawals, isolation from friends and family, or a caregiver who seems overly controlling. Physical signs matter too — unexplained injuries, poor hygiene, or medication mismanagement.
If you notice these patterns, Haven Inc. offers a confidential starting point. Their 24-hour line means someone can get help even when the abuser is monitoring daytime activities.
The “start by believing” approach matters because victims often face skepticism, especially when the abuser is a respected community member or family caregiver. Statewide advocacy organizations emphasize that leaving immediately isn’t always safe or possible — coordinated safety planning reduces risk.
For those who want to support Haven’s work, the organization accepts donations and volunteers. Community education programs help teach recognition skills before crises occur.
Merrill and the surrounding Northwoods towns have always taken care of their own. Recognizing elder abuse as a community issue — not a private family matter — extends that tradition of looking out for neighbors.
If you or someone you know needs help, Haven Inc.’s confidential crisis line is available 24/7 at 715-536-1300. Making the call might be the hardest step, but advocates like Baacke will be there to listen and help figure out what comes next.
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